i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
