i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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