I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
