you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Shame - the story of my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
