Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize