I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
