by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
