Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
They took my balls.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize