So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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