I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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