Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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