My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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