I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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