What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
