i just sent this text using only my big toe
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
