Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
