I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
