I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
