I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
