Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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