No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
