I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
