I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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