are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
