If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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