porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
