me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
