writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
