I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
