so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
