tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
