..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
