Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize