It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
