I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
