apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
