Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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