So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
