So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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