I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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