i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
