guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
