At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
