i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it hurts more in the daytime
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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