My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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