it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
