no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
