i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
