hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
