If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we made out on top of his cat.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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