At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
