Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
