Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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