you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize