im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
