Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
