just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
