I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize