So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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