Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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