He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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